Everyone is familiar with the excruciating pain one has to endure between ordering their food at a restaurant and receiving it. They're at the point where they know something is being made for them to enjoy, but it's not ready for consumption yet. Just a little longer. But what if you went to your favorite … Continue reading Neverending Fantasy: The Exhausting Marketing of Square Enix
The Cutting Room Floor: I’m Still Pissed About Halo 2
Anyone remember when Halo 2 released way back in '04? It received critical praise and people just loved everything about it. It had a great campaign, fantastic multiplayer, a not-at-all-infuriating ending that provided some kind of closure... Okay maybe that last one is more or less the opposite of the truth, but while a lot … Continue reading The Cutting Room Floor: I’m Still Pissed About Halo 2
Res-Erect: Dead Space
Welcome to the first of a series in which I talk about my personal beloved franchises that haven't seen the light of day in quite some time. Chances are most of these series will stay that way, but that's not stopping me from begging. In this entry, I'll be performing this ritual in the middle … Continue reading Res-Erect: Dead Space
Red Faction Guerrilla ReMARStered: Joyous Frustration
Way back in 2009, I remember being super pumped for Red Faction Guerrilla. I loved the original game and couldn't wait to see what kind of destruction I could cause in an open world. True, the destruction was limited to manmade structures rather than terrain this time around, so I couldn't dig tunnels like a … Continue reading Red Faction Guerrilla ReMARStered: Joyous Frustration
Character Creation: The Games That Shaped Me
When I was a wee little guy, maybe two years old, my parents owned a Nintendo Entertainment System. My Dad was playing a game about some plumber who made money pop out of turtles' asses as he sat with a miniature Brett in his lap. For one reason or another, he had to leave the … Continue reading Character Creation: The Games That Shaped Me
Nobody Hates Video Games More Than Gamers.
Imagine going to a sportsball game where you get to see your favorite sportsball team sport some balls. You're super pumped to see a showdown between them and their opponents. "Woo! Sports!" you yell as the ball is sported, probably from one end of a field to the other. Now imagine that you notice everyone … Continue reading Nobody Hates Video Games More Than Gamers.
E3 2018: A Prick’s Wishlist
E3 is where publishers go to show off their upcoming games and Bethesda goes to not announce The Elder Scrolls VI. This year's Electronic Entertainment Expo is right around the corner, so gamers around the Earth (myself included) are eagerly awaiting the official announcements of all the games that will leak between now and then. … Continue reading E3 2018: A Prick’s Wishlist
Sega Genesis Classics: Where the Hell is Sonic 3?
I once ordered a BLT at my workplace's cafeteria. I didn't think to check the contents of the sandwich until I was back at my desk. Why would I? It's a pretty simple sandwich, right? Wrong (apparently). As I chewed on my first bite, the horrifying realization set in. There was no bacon on my … Continue reading Sega Genesis Classics: Where the Hell is Sonic 3?